Many people find themselves in the situation of asking if their significant other will change themselves for the sake of the relationship. While there are some who do a complete 180 with their life and change just to save their relationship, many are reluctant to completely change. You may notice a couple things they change just to gain other bad habits or they better themselves for a week before falling back to their old routine.
In a relationship no one is perfect; in fact most of the time it’s the imperfections of the two people that make them perfect for each other. However, there’s a difference from making a mistake and learning from it opposed to making the same mistake repeatedly; no matter how many times your partner has warned you to change. Some people in a relationship take these warnings lightly then are shocked when the repercussions appear.
If you’re the partner who is constantly giving the warnings, you shouldn’t constantly give them second, third, or fourth chances. Sure you can give them warnings but they won’t take you completely serious if you don’t follow through with them. They’ll start noticing you’re giving them empty warnings which is why they go back to their old ways. Your partner knows you won’t actually leave them, that you’re just blowing smoke.
Once you’re in a serious relationship with someone, as time goes on you may tend to take each other for granted. You may stop doing considerate things that you once did in the beginning. There’s a known theory that if you are consistent from the beginning of the relationship and continue to do everything you did to win over your partner, you will have a successful relationship.
However, people as individuals are constantly changing; therefore it’s almost impossible to keep the relationship consistent and the same throughout the years. When a couple breaks up it’s normally for a good reason; either they fought all the time or there was a deeper issue. While there are some people who reunite after years of being apart and make it work, many fail even worse than the previous time.
The one question you need to ask yourself before taking your ex back is have they changed? Think back to your previous relationship with them, what was the reason for it ending? How long has it been since you’ve been with them? This brings the ever wondering question, do people ever really change?
It really depends on the person when determining if they have changed. Much of the time however people are still the same deep down. The phrase “a leopard can’t change it’s spots” applies here. Your ex partner may have changed a few things but be cautious while entering this familiar territory. You may be putting yourself in the same position you were in before. Will you be able to handle the hurt if nothing actually changed? But how long should you be cautious before diving right back in?
There are a few signs to look for that shows you your partner is serious about changing. Whether you’re on the verge of breaking up or have already separated, if a person in going to change it will take time. But if your partner is serious about changing, they will show you they’re serious by changing a few things. Here are a few signs to look for when deciding whether to just end it or give your relationship another chance.
1. They act different with you, for longer than just a week. You may notice they are becoming a new loving, compliment giving 2.0 version of themselves. Before getting too comfortable with this and giving in, give it time. Make sure they really did better themselves, give it a month or even a few months.
2. They corrected their little annoying habits that used to drive you crazy. Did they ever chew too loud? Did they ever talk during movies? They will now care about the little things that bother you.
3. Have they stopped hanging out with those bad influences that you constantly warned them about while you were together? If they are willing to give them up for good then you know he is serious about making things work with you.
4. They do more around the house or with your relationship without being told. This is the sign that normally ends quickly within a few weeks. If they keep on it for a few months then that is time to take them serious about changing. This is especially true for a failing marriage; many times it is one sided with responsibilities. The person will swear they’ll change and they do, but only for a week or so.
If you notice these signs then there is a fair chance they may change. Remember to guard your heart until you know for sure. It may take a few months before you can tell if they’ve really changed. Sometimes it’s better to just let go and start over. Think of how much stress and worry you’d be leaving behind by starting over. While it may hurt to let go of the person you love, it’s a good way to make room for someone who will give you the love you deserve.