A Vladimir Putin calendar? Yes, Russian president Putin has put out a 2016 calendar, and while many of us are saying eww, Russians have evidently been ordered to say mne eto nravitsya! (I like it!) If you have always wanted to see the 63-year-old former Lieutenant Colonel of the KGB in smiling, topless poses, flashing a painfully white, hairless chest while fishing or cuddling up and caressing puppies, you just got your belated Christmas gift.
Reports TMZ on Dec. 26: “Vladimir Putin wants you to gaze at him every day in 2016, and a new calendar will facilitate just that. Check out the 12 months of Putin, showing him with a range of poses and emotions.”
For only 78 Russian Rubles (approximately the cost of a small coffee in US dollars), you can see your president working out, sniffing flowers or dancing. In February, Putin embraces the Russian winters in his absurd looking animal outfit that we’re sure was taken off Roger Moore from 1977’s The Spy Who Loved Me.
After thawing out, a March Putin in a too-tight tee shirt smells a wildflower while gazing skyward in a very pensive glance. The caption reads: “I like all Russian women. I think Russian women are the most talented and the most beautiful.”
In November of next year, while the US will be busy electing its next president, our friends in Russia will see their commander hugging a puppy, captioned with: “Dogs and I have very warm feelings for one another.”
What’s the Russian word for creepy?
The previous month has a much stronger message for the masses. Putin, military cap riding high on his balding head, proclaims: “No one will succeed in gaining military superiority over Russia. Our army is contemporary, capable, and as they now say, polite, but formidable.” Not what we would say, looking at his little boy sailor outfit, but ok.
Here’s a hilarious quote from NewsOxy: “Though for any man (or woman) uncomfortable with Putin’s pecs glistening in the Siberian sunlight, unmolested by the frigid Russian air, the calendar’s makers made sure to include his pristine, pearly whites in almost every photo collected.”
No surprise Putin made a calendar when you consider his fragrance line just hit Russian shelves. Called “Leader Number One,” (how terribly original), the minimalistic black bottle boasts “notes of lemon, bergamot, blackcurrant and fir cones.”
And here we thought it would smell like dressed herring and vodka.
So would you shell out a handful of Rubles for a Vladimir Putin calendar?