We all want our children to grow up feeling confident and to be successful. Understanding that challenges will come up in their lives, we want to help build a good foundation to deal with stress, difficulties and moments of self-doubt. These five simple steps will help guide you to build your child’s confidence.
We can start with our words. Our children look to us to guide them. They are always watching us and listening to us and the way we speak with ourselves and others. Start by looking at how you communicate. How do you talk about yourself? How do you talk about others? Our children pick up on these small details. Statements such as “I look fat in this dress” teaches your child to speak unkind words to themselves.
And although, we all have moments when we are unhappy with ourselves, the way in which we deal with it can be a stepping stone in our children’s future communication with themselves. For example, Try not to use negative words. You can change your statement to something like, I would like to get to the gym this week so I can continue to be healthy. The point is to reframe the way you speak to yourself for the benefit of both you and your child.
There are usually two types of people in this world, when it comes to how we look at situations. You can either be a person who see’s things half full or half empty. How we look at situations and our attitude can determine the outcome for us. For example, if your child is having a hard time in math and is feeling very frustrated. Relay, to the child that you understand how they feel. Let them know that everyone learns at their own pace. Follow that up with focusing on other things that they are good at. And let them know that you are willing to help them each night to become better at math. The point here is to not dwell on the negative aspect of the situation but find the good points in it.
Everyone loves to feel important and children are no different. Allowing them to make simple decisions gives them a chance to feel as if they have control over their world. It is important to start this one at a young age. For example, ask your child if they would like to go for a walk, go to the park or play inside. Giving them a few choices to pick from saves you from any arguments and gives the child a sense of control. As they get older you can give your child more opportunities with more important choices.
As parents many times we want to rush in and solve our kid’s problems for them. But, it’s important that we give our kids the opportunity to work out their problems on their own. If your child runs up to you because their best friend is playing with their doll. Don’t jump in and handle it. Ask your child, open questions to help guide them to work it out on their own. Ask them, what is a nice way to get your toy back? Let them think of the answers themselves and follow through with the decisions they make.
Parents may not need another thing added to their list of things to do but children love to feel needed. No matter what you are doing at the grocery store or at home kids love to help. Create small tasks for your kids to do. Ask them if they would like to be your special helper for the day. Give them jobs like setting the table and finding items at the store. Let them know that they really helped you out and that you appreciate it.
We only get a certain amount of time with our kids. The key is to make the most of it. Let them know that you value them and they can make a difference in this world just by being themselves.