So, today was a good day. Ok. Let me rephrase. Today was a better day than yesterday. I actually got out of bed. Knocked some things off of my to do list. You know, like, brush my teeth, oil my locs, dress in something other than pajamas. That for me right now is one hell of a great day.
I took my son to get his hair cut. I was looking at him in the chair, and it really dawned on me that my baby will be 10 in a little over a month. I’m not sure how that happened. He was clearly born only yesterday. But as I look into those big brown eyes, stare at those long curly eye lashes, smirk when he gives me that smile reserved only for me, I realize that his little boy-boy-baby face is turning into a big-boy-real-boy face. I’m not sure I’m prepared for that.
I mean the boy oo-voo’ed me from class yesterday. Don’t worry, I barely know what the heck it is myself. He literally tells me how he wants his hair cut and what he will and will not allow when it comes to his hair. Like, is that allowed?? Is he allowed to tell me something? Bah. Then to make it worse, he had the audacity to tell me that he was getting his hair cut a certain way because that’s how his girlfriend wanted it cut. REALLY?? Humbug. Where did my little brown bunny go? Sigh…
Here’s what I do know. This little boy and his sister have been there for me since Mommy died. Even amidst their grief, they have spent most of their time taking care of me. Asking me if I’m okay, feeding me, wiping my tears and laying in the bed with me just so I can sleep. I am so grateful. I know that I’m blessed. That boy child has this uncanny ability to know exactly when I’m down, when I need a hug, when I’m on the brink of tears. He just pops up. How was your day Mama Mama? You okay Mama Mama? You sad Mama Mama? Give me a hug Mama Mama. Somehow, he just knows.
That girl baby? Well she’s a jumble of teenage-eff the world-leave me alone-shut up in my room hormones. Some days I wanna kill her. Some days I just want to curl up next to her. But I tell you one thing, she plays no games when it comes to me and how I’m feeling. She is not at all for the drama of people bothering me or stressing me out. Sometimes I forget that she’s only 14. She’s grown so much. She’s smart, beautiful, talented and a hot mess, and I love every part of her.
The point of this post? Today I took a moment to dwell on the little things. I took a few seconds to remember what I still have, even while mourning what’s gone. I was thankful. I smiled. I laughed.
So yea, today was a good day.