The Vatican says reviewers of The Force Awakens are mistaken… about a great many things. An editorial in a Vatican newspaper has shredded The Force Awakens, calling the newest installment of the Star Wars saga nothing more than “a reboot designed for an audience more familiar with computer screens than the silver screen.” The holy snub stands in stark contrast to the film’s approval ratings, currently at 95 percent.
Reports CNN on Dec. 21: “A critic writing for L’Osservatore Romano, the daily newspaper of the Vatican State, finds the movie ‘disappointing’ and dismisses J.J. Abrams’ direction as worthy of today’s sloppiest action films. The review, titled Confuso e sfocato – meaning ‘confused and unfocused’ – first exposes the main plot line, calling Rey ‘a thief of spare parts’ and Finn ‘a repented assailant.’”
Ironically, the Vatican reviewer also determined that the film’s antagonists are just not “evil enough.” The Devil may be in the details, but the Vatican says director J.J. Abrams committed a cardinal sin by failing to duplicate the evilness of such noteworthy characters as Vader or Emperor Palpatine.
“The new director’s set-up fails most spectacularly in its representation of evil, meaning the negative characters,” critic Emilio Ranzato wrote in his Dec. 18 review.
“The counterpart of Darth Vader, Kylo Ren, wears a mask merely to emulate his predecessor, while the character who needs to substitute the Emperor Palpatine as the incarnation of supreme evil represents the most serious defect of the film,” Ranzato wrote in what may be called an inquisition. “Without revealing anything about the character, all we will say is that it is the clumsiest and tackiest result you can obtain from computer graphics.”
It appears some cosmologists were equally unimpressed with the film:
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It should be noted that the review does not represent the official position of Pope Francis; L’Osservatore Romano publishes all of the Vatican’s official documents but the editorial is a separate function of the Holy See. In fact, the NY Daily News reports the Pope is not a moviegoer.
“A Vatican insider stressed to NBC News Tuesday that Pope Francis is far removed from the weighing in on such earthly pop culture concerns as ‘he doesn’t watch movies,’” the site said. However, Francis has spoken openly in the past about some of his favorite movies, though The Force Awakens doesn’t seem to be on the Vatican’s must-see list.