Accessing our intuitive gifts can go beyond helping us navigate our own life circumstances. Utilizing our abilities to tune into ourselves, and into the feelings of others, can help us to connect on deeper levels with our own sense of a Higher Self and also to recognize the Divine in others.
Intuition allows us to feel our way through problems, and access infinite possibilities by tapping into higher aspects of ourselves so that we can discover solutions that we have never thought of before. Living intuitively allows us to focus our attention on the present moment so that we can draw from it all the information that is readily available, but not necessarily in plain view.
When we apply the gifts of intuition towards the parenting of our children, sacred moments and impressive results occur. Natural parenting styles – also known as Attachment Parenting, involves the parent tuning in very closely to their baby so that they can read their child’s cues and respond in a nurturing manner as swiftly as possible to help the child build a deep sense of trust that they are cared for by others.
While there is no singular parenting style that is best for everyone, as all children are unique and require different approaches, intuitive parenting can deepen our relationship with our children as well as help our children grow up feeling confident that they are valued, loved and trusting that their needs will be met.
It’s important to note that Attachment, Intuitive and Natural Parenting – the terms are synonymous – are not the same as “helicopter parenting”, which is an overly-protective and often boundary-intrusive style of parenting that attempts to keep the child in a bubble so that they can never be hurt by the outside world. Intuitive Parenting is about creating close bonds with our children from the earliest stages of life, and to flow with the child, feeling their needs and meeting them as best as we can from a place of peace, understanding and companionship. Although the term “attachment” would imply a co-dependency between parent and child, most attachment-style parents find that their children are secure and independent as a result of this early attachment.
Another incentive to using one’s intuition when parenting, is to be able to notice when a particular parenting technique, method or philosophy is not feeling right to either the child or parent, and to be able to make shifts and changes accordingly. For example, parents may decide that they want to be “attachment-style parents,” and co-sleep, wear their baby in baby slings, breastfeed for more than 2 years, and have one parent with the child at all times. However, they may find that applying all principles of attachment parenting is too exhausting, stressful or demanding, and they may find that they would sleep better if they weren’t right next to their child at night. They may decide that they like many elements of the attachment parenting approach, but they may feel that they need to modify the approach to fit the needs of their overall family’s health. Using their intuition, rather than following a strict model as described in a book or website, will guide parents to creating a lifestyle that fits both the parents and their child.
When parents trust their intuition to guide their choices, they find new solutions to problems and challenges that they might not find in a parenting book. A huge benefit to intuitive parenting is that the parent learns to trust their own heart, gut and experience in how to respond to the cries or disciplinary needs of the child, and the child is able to model this kind of self-trust, and practice it in their own lives.
Currently, parents are bombarded by apps, products, blogs, lectures, workshops, books, and TV shows featuring experts on parenting from all sides of the spectrum that boast the “ultimate” parenting tips for raising healthy, happy, responsible citizens – while also terrifying parents that they are going to irrevocably screw up their kids if they don’t follow the proposed child-rearing guidelines. Parents become so overwhelmed by the incessant, and often, unsolicited advice and admonishments from other parents, their own parents, and from the medical and holistic communities, that they begin to doubt their own abilities to parent their kids according to the way their own hearts and minds are leading them.
When parents use their natural, primal and intuitive instincts in a deeply attuned way to guide how they respond to the needs of their children, they are co-creating an energetic template within that child that is based in unconditional love and maintained through constant nurturing, positive reinforcement and authenticity.
We all have a “template” within us. This template is a body of energy within us that is the culmination of thought patterns, habitual emotional responses to external stimuli, and neuropath connections created over time from past experiences. When infants, babies and older children are consistently shown over time that their physical and emotional needs are valued and properly met, connections are created in the brain that create an inner template of trust and security. Conversely, if a child is not shown consistent nurturing and their cries repeatedly go unanswered, then they create a template of anxiety and insecurity that is based on their past experience that there is no guarantee that their needs will ever be met by others – not even by their own parents.
This is powerful because for children, parents are the closest thing to God or a Divine Source. Children are completely dependent, and they desperately need their parents to care for them and help them in ways they are simply not yet able to do for themselves. Therefore, if a child learns from an early age that their parents love them on a conditional basis, or are not always there for them, they also tend to project this fear onto God – if they are even able to consider the idea that there is a Higher Power beyond their own mind.
When parents practice intuitive parenting with their kids, they also become more conscious parents, and thus create the model of conscious living for their children to observe and possibly emulate. For example, when a child throws a temper tantrum in public, it is natural to feel embarrassed as strangers glare at both the upset child and frustrated parent. However, this is a golden opportunity to practice consciousness in a difficult situation where our ego is programmed to kick in and take over to protect us from looking bad in front of others. Instead of allowing our need to avoid being judged to dictate how we respond to the screaming child, we might pause, take a deep breath and quickly check in with our Higher Mind for guidance.
Rather than arguing with the child or attempting to ignore a noisy tantrum, we might tune into the child’s energy and inquire what it is that the child really needs right now. Is he or she seeking our attention? Do they need reassurance? Are they bored, tired or hungry? Perhaps they are over-stimulated and need comfort and a calming voice. The point is, that our ego is ready to attack and squash the situation and be punitive, while our intuition will guide us to connect and inquire into the deeper issue at hand. Our egos will be desperate to save face while our intuitive guidance will create compassionate awareness that saves both parent and child from unnecessary pain. By listening to our Higher Wisdom, we can show up for our children in a supportive way – while not “giving in” to undesirable behavior.
Intuitive parenting can not only help sooth a toddler’s temper tantrum, but also create a template of confidence for the child that they will take with them into their future as adults. When parents confront a difficult emotional situation with their child as a chance to go inward with the child and share feelings with each other, the parents can better understand what’s going on and they can help guide the child back to peace. In doing so, they are teaching the child that they are there for that child no matter how the child is behaving or feeling.
It is important to note that intuitive parenting isn’t the same as “passive parenting.” Parents still teach their kids that there are consequences to their actions and that hurtful or disrespectful behavior is not acceptable. An intuitive parent will make it a point to allow the child to feel their emotions and not judge anger, rage, or frustration as “bad” emotions. They will explain to the child that the emotions they feel are okay and natural, but that we have a responsibility to behave from a place of control, and not act from our negative emotions in ways that are hurtful to others. The emphasis is more on teaching the child how to process powerful emotions and navigate challenging situations with compassion, rather than on punitive, disciplinary actions.
By showing the child that they are loved and supported unconditionally, the parent is teaching the child that the child is safe – no matter what. The child learns that they can trust that their parents will not turn their back on the child if the child is struggling with something. That child will grow up to trust that they can talk to their parents about difficult things and that if they make mistakes, they will not lose their parents’ love. The child will also grow up with an innate feeling of being okay, even when they don’t succeed or when they don’t feel great about something. They may not be happy at times, as they are human and bound to have unhappy moments, but they will still feel valued and loved on a deeper level.
Will being an intuitive parent save our children from painful life experiences and guarantee that they will become rich, successful, happy and totally well adjusted adults? Well, nothing can guarantee such results, since – after all – we are spiritual beings having a human experience and we all have sacred contracts we are here to explore. However, being an intuitive parent allows our children to be heard on all levels.
And isn’t that what we all really want? To be heard, seen, felt and above all else, loved…that is perhaps the best result we can hope for when it comes to raising our children.