This column has been put off for quite some time. After all, your rockin’ writer is generally a shy, innocent white boy who tries not to attract too much attention to himself. Since there are way too many e-mails saved in the old e-mailbox, (and since AXS requires all its writers to publish a minimum of two pieces on Examiner every month and tech troubles have prevented the publication of a “3 quick questions” on LiLi Roquelin), now seemed like a good time to finally publish this much requested column.
In order to answer personal inquiries though, both the editors at Examiner and all the readers out there in “Nothing Better To Do Right Now Land” will have to simply forgive the obviously subjective use of the first person in the remainder of this particular piece. So without further adieu, here then is the first(?) edition of a new, responsive mail column humbly labeled “Phoenix’s Manly Mail Sack”:
A writer using the apt albeit obviously anonymous name of “Nosey” asks:
“You’re a rock journalist. You meet sexy women in the music industry all the time. You even have a few pictures posted on your Facebook page. Have you ever got with any of them?”
Wow. Not being one to kiss and tell, this is a difficult question. Still, if the word count isn’t high enough here, this column might be rejected and I would get yet another form letter telling me I have not written for Examiner lately. So here we go.:
I have indeed met many attractive women in the music industry. (Mind you, take a lady someone off the street, slap on some make up, give them a guitar and/or a microphone and they automatically become sexier, right?) Seriously, I have only engaged in the ultimate intimate action–or done the Hot Hokey-Pokey–with one singer.
The hot Latina was nearly two decades my junior but she was not, however, someone I ever wrote about and her band had actually disbanded before we even met. In fact, while she would still sing with other bands, she had moved back in with her parents. For the record, she approached me. (Women generally have to do that with me. I can’t help it.)
I try to be professional; although I can definitely think of one entertainer that I would quite like to buy a drink sometime . . .although she has been told that regardless of how attractive I find her, if she did something I thought was bad i would not hesitate to write about it.
So dear readers,there you have it. You asked for it and you got it. My name is Phoenix and . . . you’ve got my number.