Here is the third edition of a letter column which it was first believed would never see the light of day. It had been previously put off for quite some time since your rockin’ writer is pretty much a shy, innocent white boy who tries not to attract too much attention to himself. However, since there are too many e-mails saved in ye olde e-mailbox, (and since AXS requires all its writers to publish a minimum of two pieces on Examiner every month and the loss of my computer files are preventing the timely publication of “3 quick questions”), now seemed like a good time to continue the publication of his much requested column.
In order to answer your assorted inquiries though, both the editors at Examiner and all the readers out there will have to overlook the obviously subjective use of the first person in the remainder of this column. So without further adieu, here then is the latest edition of the mail column humbly labeled “Phoenix’s Manly Mail Sack”:
Someone we will call “Fact Checker” wrote:
“In the last edition you said you never intentionally wrote about anyone who was gay other than two acts you named. You lied. You wrote about Elton John several times.”
Dear Fact Checker,
First off, my bottom line is that it is all about the music. I never focused on the gay issue. It was the reader who asked why I write about so many gay musicians and singers and I said it’s all about the music and I only knowingly ever wrote about a couple of gay performers. Anything beyond that was a coincidence. To be blunt–(forgive my language mom and dad)–I don’t give two sh*ts and a flying f*ck who someone sleeps with unless they put it in a song.
But, you’re right. I realized it the other day when John was going on about something having to do with the gay community. But don’t call me a liar though, OK? Honestly I never usually think of Elton John as gay unless he is waving it in my face and shoving it down my throat . . . you know . . .being political.
At one point I did not know he was gay. Later he claimed he was bisexual. Surely you recall the big confessional interview back in the late 1970s?
The first part was in Rolling Stone magazine and the second part was in Vanity Fair magazine. Seriously, most of the 1990s I didn’t even think about Elton John’s music (let alone his sexuality) especially after the release of albums like Duets and The Big Picture.
Do I really need “gaydar”? If so I am in trouble. Seriously, I once thought that the B-52s’ frontman Fred Schneider behaved that way because he was just flamboyant and maybe because he worked with two chicks who drew a tad too much inspiration from Yoko Ono. Anyway, now you know I am no liar and I will look for your apology e-mail later this week.
So dear readers,there you have it. You asked for it and you got it. My name is Phoenix and . . . you’ve got my number.