So what’s wrong with letting somebody go pee? What is done in the ladies room stays in the ladies room. There is nothing wrong at all with someone coming in to use the restroom for what it i for. What’s a woman’s focus when she is in the bathroom? Some ladies rooms have lounges just for women to come in and let it all out, undo the corsets and breathe a little. Bra pads are adjusted, panty hose get pulled up and twisted into place, spanx get pulled down and/or up, eyebrows and make up powdered and touched up. Then there is the whole issue of menstruation and the machine is out of pads. “Do you have a tampon, and this stall is out of toilet paper can somebody please?” These are private things that are for women only.
The women’s restroom is a lounge (except in concert halls where we are treated as pigs going to slaughter cramped in tiny places and only a few stalls) where the women go to gossip and smoke a cigarette, share hairspray, backcomb and tease, and you better ask somebody. All the women’s restrooms downtown used to have lounges in the seventies, even Paul Harris did. The women in a lounge have never had a problem with transgender and using our restroom. No one ever bat an eye. They got their own makeup and they know the code.
“That man is flirting with her,” or “He is treating me like a dog and I just want to go home safely.” This is the one place where the women pull together and give the crying doll some money to leave the brute she walked in the door with. Now she can get a cab and go home safely, and call it a night. It may be the one and only place some of us actually come together as sisters and get along. We smoke cigarettes in there. We share headache powders.
When we are being followed by some strange man who may have already brushed up against us, the ladies room is where we will go to gather forces to connect for protection. One woman always stands by the door. What do you want to come in here for? The eighties song by Klymaxx, Meeting in the Ladies Room was a national anthem when it came out for a very good reason.
Not everyone uses the bathroom for relieving themselves. They watch, they take pictures, they peep over the top of the stall wall, they approach you when you come out of the stall and say things you don’t want to hear. What some women fear is opening the bathroom door to more people you just don’t want in the bathroom with you and your kids. These are private things that are for ‘women only.’
Women and young girls who are shy to pee are shy even when women are in there. There is a code to being in the women’s restroom and if you did not grow up following it well, there could be problems. We might have an issue if you do not know the unsaid rules of ‘meeting in the ladies room.’ Young boys are exposed to this atmosphere early on by going in with their mothers, grandmothers and caretakers. But once a boy child has gone into the men’s restroom with his father, uncle, grandpa, there is no turning back. They do not look at going into the ladies room with mama the same way. In fact he will fret over her insistence that he come in with her just the one more time.
Sure there have been coed bathrooms in place in different spaces but they are not the ‘ladies room.’ They are not a place where you go to “meeting in the ladies room.” Everybody has to go to the bathroom and no we don’t want to stop you. You do need to understand it has been this way for a long time and it will continue to be this way.
I can remember one time in the women’s lounge downtown in one well-shopped department store a man tried to walk right in to the ‘womens’ to go. He was stopped immediately by one woman, and pushed by three or four, and women yelled to warn the others and he was questioned thoroughly.” The men’s restroom was broke down.” “There is no way.” One woman went to check it out. Okay then, one woman at the door, one woman in between the lounge and the bathroom door way, but first allow women to finish their business and get out. We are not heathens refusing to share ‘our private space,’ but it is the one space we can have all to ourselves and we’d like to keep it that way. Just you make sure what goes on in the ladies room always stays in the ladies room.