McDonald’s mozzarella sticks are back in the news. Not for the sticks’ initial, hollowed-out, vacant interiors when the fried treat was rolled out last year, bur for another cheesy issue. There’s stuff in there now, but what is it? One deeply affected McDonald’s customer is now taking the Golden Arches to task over it.
It’s official cheese lovers: Litigation has sunk to an all-time low. McDonald’s mozzarella sticks are being targeted by a California man who parted with a $1.29 to nosh on some breaded, fried sticks that contained “real” mozzarella cheese. The lawsuit was filed in federal court on Jan. 29 in the Central District of California, and the accuser, identified as a fellow named Chris Howe, is seeking undisclosed “damages.”
Reports CNN Money on Feb. 3: “The complaint says that instead of the authentic mozzarella depicted in McDonald’s ads and promised on packaging, the cheese has starch additives and other ‘filler’ ingredients.”
Howe, a Riverside County resident, has now slapped the fast food giant with a class-action lawsuit after dining at the Golden Arches in Rancho Mirage back on Christmas Eve.
Howe’s complaint says that McD’s advertises their sticks as containing “pure mozzarella,” “real mozzarella,” and “100% real cheese,” but in actuality, the mozzarella sticks contain “a substance that is composed (in part) of starch, in violation of the federal standards of identity for ‘mozzarella’ cheese, and contrary to reasonable consumers’ expectations regarding the meaning of the term ‘mozzarella.’”
We suppose mozzarella should mean mozzarella, but then again we also have things like an “accurate estimate,” or “bipartisan cooperation,” among countless other examples of rhetorical oxymora. So when McD’s or some other burger joint crows that their fast food fare contains “real cheese,” a logical consumer takes that with a grain of salt (or an unhealthy dose of sodium in this case) and doesn’t bellyache that their cuisine that just emerged from being drowned in a fryer is wholly adulterated with yucky ingredients.
“Our mozzarella cheese sticks are made with 100% low moisture part skim mozzarella cheese,” McDonald’s spokesperson Lisa McComb told BuzzFeed News. “We intend to defend ourselves vigorously against these allegations.”
But McDonald’s lawyers better be prepared for some acute crime drama, courtroom-like legalese. Howe, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, has prepared diagrams, clearly showing that “the area advertised and purporting to be mozzarella” is, in reality, starch.
Either that, or he purloined instructions on how to insert a roll of toilet paper onto a tube. Check out the link above for Howe’s Exhibit A.
Mr. Howe evidently tested his “core samples,” and found the non-cheesy centers contained “3.76 percent starch by weight.” Howe says this is more than federal food labeling laws allow.
“Because of starch’s moisture-holding properties,” he argued in his suit, “the total percentage of permitted mozzarella ingredients by weight is thereby reduced substantially. In other words, the starch becomes a cheap substitute for permitted ingredients, and a vehicle for an even cheaper ingredient: water.”
Sound legit to us. Give this man a million dollars. At least.
We wonder if Howe was inspired by this complainant: another Californian who sued McDonald’s for a whopping $1.5 million because he claimed “mental anguish” because his order only came with one stinkin napkin.
Check out the links below for some other outrageous McDonald’s stories. And sound off below with your thoughts about McDonald’s mozzarella sticks.