Trying to explain what depression is to someone who is not depressed is like trying to explain what being shy is to someone who is not shy. It bothers the person on the outside more than it is bothering the person who is shy. Depression is different in that it is bothering the person more than the person who is watching it. It is not something that requires you to be pointed at or diagnosed to death or given a drug, at least that is how I felt. What good where drugs going to do, they couldn’t bring my dad back, they couldn’t make my mother open up to me emotionally. Depression doesn’t even give a good explanation of what is going on at the time. It is being really, really sad. It is the pit, you are not even falling but you are free floating in this abyss that is a grayish pale turquoise in color and you are just there. The connection is missing.
People criticized Kehlani’s attempt to kill herself. Chris Brown’s comment is what the mirror is reflecting back to us. It is how people feel about suicide and how cold the world really is.
It is not that no one can reach you but it is that no one cares enough to. So many people say things like.” Oh if I had someone around me that felt that way I would do this or that to make them happy again or to increase their mood.” The bottom line is in the world you live in no one is caring enough to do anything because if they did you probably wouldn’t be feeling so low. People closest to you are busy living their own lives and trying to make themself happy. They may pass you in the house but they just think maybe you are having an off day or they are really narcisstic and happy they are doing better than you. It may sound cruel but it is true. You would be amazed if you could be on the inside of someone who is sad or “depressed” because you could then see just how cruel people closest to you can be. It is devastating for the person who has depression.
People sound surprised the world can be so cruel or at least they may have some realization that it’s a cruel place to be sometimes. They have no clue. It would help if someone could reach down into the closet-like laundry chute and pull you out and care. It would be a start if you had enough people who cared that a different person could be there to do that for you each day or even every other day. Once a week would be a big shot in the arm. If this sounds selfish to you or like it might be done for attention it’s not. What it takes to make a connection and keep that line of connection open might be the very thing that keeps people alive and thriving. Because when you are so sad you are depleted. You are deficient in vitamin love. It seems like an IV of love would do the trick but it’s not about the mechanical. It is about human tenderness and gentleness, it is about caring.
There are loads of statistics and drugs and it’s all sickening and maddening from a sad, depressed person’s point of view. It’s useless. L-O-V-E what the world not way over they but right here beside me and in your needs is love. You can sweep it under the carpet all you want but you have to be aware, All you really need is to care. It’s not a plea for attention. That shows just how misunderstood depression is. It’s not easy to ask for help because you get so tired of being vulnerable and people taking advantage of your openness. Humankind needs to remember the brotherhood of man. In fact most churches don’t practice it or teach it. They talk instead around it. It is not practiced.
People are not bugs on the windshield of life. I think that is something everyone needs to realize in the world. One less human to go around on the sidewalk or just bug splat to scrape off of your window is how some view it. It is not about what you have in the way of possessions or what you don’t have. It is on the inside coming out. To help someone who is this sad you would need to really care about them to know it is going on more than just an off day. You wouldn’t be able to miss their tears if you cared and their feelings of despair and hopelessness. Lack of support is probably the biggest hurt in being depressed. You have slid right off the edge and no one notices enough to do anything about it.