Day parties…Text-ationships…Netflix and chill…Online Dating. Traditional dating with the intent to marry is pretty much non-existent today. There are so many ways to meet a new fling but many have forgotten what dating actually entails. The old-fashioned way of meeting potential suitors in check out lines or bumping carts at the laundromat is taboo. In fact, most singles these days date with no specific intentions and just go with the flow although many will admit that they do see themselves settling down to marry (one day). So with casual dating being “the thing” at present it may cause the question to arise, “Is courting still necessary when seeking a life partner?”
Let’s take a look at some examples of couples who both found love and define how courtship plays a role in relationships:
Jason* and Tamika* met one summer day as Tamika was running to the grocery store. Jason admits that when he decided to approach Tamika he didn’t have any intentions of long term dating. He was interested in the immediate sexual gratification and acting on that alone. Tamika made sure that the one time fling became a recurrence and over time the two began to feel a connection that was more than physical. After the connection was established, Jason knew that he didn’t see himself with anyone else other than Tamika but timing wasn’t right for him as a man to settle down. Several years and one child later, Jason decides she is deserving of a lifetime of commitment from him since she has held him down for so long. This couple is happily married for 2 years as of this day. No official courtship, but the success of a relationship that stemmed from a simple one night stand.
Our second couple that we will glance at are Trey and Vanessa of recent series, Married at first sight. Trey and Vanessa are a couple of the series’ 3rd season in which they are matched on different levels by relationship experts as potential soulmates. The marriage is arranged and the couple agree to work through a 6 week experiment getting to know each other, trust building, dating, meeting families, as well as dealing with intimacy issues. The couple literally enters the situation expecting it to be a life-long connection not knowing if there will be chemistry or physical attraction. Trey and Vanessa took this leap of faith and their connection was also immediate, however knowing that they belonged together they had to do the leg-work of figuring out why. Courting was imperative in this situation because although the legal paperwork bounds them and the connection is established there will naturally be bumps in the road between these strangers. The role of courtship was necessary for this couple and we are hopeful of this couple’s continued success in their marriage!
There are many ways both traditional and non-traditional to meet someone and begin a relationship whether one or both parties involved has marriage on the brain. The probability of success however relies on the mutual interest as well as the effort of both parties to work towards the common goal of long-term unity. Whether the courtship is 6 months or 6 years courtship is what the couple makes it and should not be defined by old school traditions but rather the intent of creating a happy state indefinitely for both individuals as they become one.
*Names have been changed to allow privacy of the individuals involved.