Karrine “Superhead” Steffans, wife of former ‘Scandal’ star Columbus Short who rose to infamy following her tell-all “Confessions of a Video Vixen” is now snitching a few details of her relationship with Jay-Z.
On Saturday via xojane.com, Steffans blogged that she was Becky, the mystery woman Beyonce was singing about on her Lemonade album. The Beyhive (Beyonce’s superfans) have attacked several high profile women, who they thought she was singing about. Steffans has been linked to many men in the music industry and has gone on several high profile interviews to dish all the details, calling names and saying what they did.
“Over 15 years ago, I had Beyoncé’s husband,” said Steffans. “Yes, I was one of Jay Z’s Beckys back in the year 2000 for about three minutes, which is about as long it takes me to satisfy a man in the back of a Maybach while overlooking the beaches of Malibu.”
Steffans said she was a 21-year-old California transplant who had been thrust into the music video vixen limelight following a fateful meeting with director Hype Williams. At the time, she was a former stripper turned single mother raising a little boy. She said she jumped at the chance to make $2,500 a day to dance around and look pretty next to Jay Z. Steffans said Jay Z was long-time friend of her cousin, Chuck.
“This was the beginning of my stint as a video girl, and one day Jay and I stole away for some time alone toward the end of the day,” she said. “Chauffeured away from the set, down the winding road, and closer to the shoreline, Jay and I feasted on our attraction to one another — rabidly and quickly. After just a few minutes, I lifted my head from his lap, wiped my lips, and knew we’d made a mistake. Over the next few years, I would see Jay again, as I became close with his then business partner Damon Dash. We never mentioned our Malibu melee and acted as if it never happened. My cousin Chuck would be livid.”
“This was pre-Yoncé, of course, but the fact is that a Becky is a Becky, and I was the Becky for many men, and they were all my salvation and my destitution. They were my reason and my rationale, my life and my death, and eventually, my fame and my infamy,” Steffans went on to say.
She said that she would go on to become the wife of three men – one she married for convenience, one she married out of fear, and the last (Short) she married for love. Steffans shared how she met Short and married him three months later and then three months after that, she was kicking him out.
“I married a man with addictions and emotional afflictions,” she said. “I did everything I could to get him help. His mother and I talked tirelessly about the resources available to us and how to get him to take advantage of them. But, he never did and I hurt myself trying. The alcohol, the cocaine, the other women, it all became too much and I raged. I cried. I mourned and still mourn the loss of my husband, my friend, my confidant. And to be honest, I always wonder if I should have just kept taking the pain. I still wonder if I should have saved my marriage at any cost, no matter how much it hurt me.”
Steffans said when she watched ‘Lemonade’, she heard Beyonce` as a wife cry about a Becky and resonated with her on songs like ”I Pray You Catch Me” and “Sandcastles”.
“I resonated with how she felt as a woman who was promised forever and faithfulness only to have these notions dashed by a woman, or women — by “Becky with the good hair,” she said. “I saw my role. I saw hers. I saw an endless march of Beckys who can never be stopped no matter the rage, no matter the brilliance of the lyrical vein cutting. And I listened to a woman who seemingly has it all but is riddled with the same insecurities of a woman who has not nearly as much. I witnessed as she went through the same stages I’ve gone through and am still traversing through as a wife, and the stages I have contributed to as a Becky. Until Lemonade, I thought these two women were mutually exclusive but quickly realized they are not and are, in fact, often the same woman.”
Steffans also talked about her seven year relationship with rapper Clifford ‘Method Man’ Smith. She said a year into their romance, he called her to tell her he was getting married and instead of ending the relationship, she continued with him for the next six years.
“I loved him, as a person, as a friend, as my lover, and with that love, I warmed his cold feet over the phone and soothed his doubts and fears about marriage,” she said. “After all their years together, after giving him children, she deserved to be his wife. And for the next six years … I would be his Becky.”
“I have been the other woman and I have been the wife,” said Steffans. “As the other woman, I have had more privileges than the wife, knowing all the secrets, the lies and truths. As a mistress, I have known more about a man than I have ever known as a wife. As a wife, I have been lied to, I have been betrayed, and disrespected.”
She said there is a stigma attached to the other woman, and a notion that her position alone warrants shame.
“Honestly, I don’t see the difference,” said Steffans. “Becky may not have him all the time but what she gets of him is usually more honest, for he fears not being judged and there are no consequences, no higher standard, no vows to uphold. With Becky, he can be free. There is a silent shame that comes with being a Beyoncé, being a wife who knows she’s been cheated on and lied to, but for the sake of matrimony, she stays. Knowing that Becky lurks in his phone, on his mind, and that scent of suspicion he has when he comes home — it’s her. There is a silent shame with hanging in there, saving face, with being a faithful wife to a man who can never be faithful to his God, his self, or to his beloved.”
Steffans said at the beginning of Lemonade, she knew Jay would be served with divorce papers but at the end she knew Beyonce` wasn’t leaving. According to Steffans, the outing of Jay-Z can be argued as simply artistic expression and not at all based on reality but, what about the conspiracies and the grainy pictures and the whispers that never go away.
She also speculated if Becky was in fact Rachel Roy, Rita Ora or Cathy White and said that it is staggering how many wives are still sides, and how many sides become wives, only to realize they are still one of many.
“Will we ever be happy?” Steffans mused. “Will we ever find the sort of love we deserve? Or will we find ourselves taking Louisville Sluggers to our lives, demolishing everything in our wake, hurting others because we too are hurt? Will we accept our pain as actuality and choose it over our own betterment simply because we don’t want to be alone or appear to have failed? Will the world ever accept all our cries and not just the ones of pop icons who blur the lines between reality and entertainment? How much Lemonade do we have to drink to be as passively aggressive as Beyoncé? How much do we have to drink to accept infidelity and marry men who remind us of our cheating, lying fathers? How much do we have to drink to stay? Whether you are a Becky, a Beyoncé, neither or both, how much is enough and when do we just leave?”
“I am Becky with the good hair,” concluded Steffans. “I am Beyoncé. I am the keeper of secrets, the betrayer of women, the confessor of my sins, the owner of my secrets, lies and salvations. I have traded in my Scarlet A for a Scarlet Bey. Because we are all Becky with the good hair. Every last one of us.”