When you are the person doing the hating what are you afraid of? A threat to your own self-esteem or a sense of threat to your relationship. It is a perceived threat first, that you want to get away from you. A religious group or a race of people hates another one; they feel is a threat to their life on earth. The hatred always snowballs. When you are hating you want to push the person or people away from you. What you focus on expands which escalates the hate in you. If you are born in a condition in which shame existed then hate thrives and grows in you until you deal with it.
Threat, push away, focused hate grows and you feel they are even more dangerous and you must do something about it even more. You feel they believe they are influencing your life and your happiness. Hatred exists because the person or people are attached to something, their world views, health, relationship, and self-esteem.
If you are in a place where the hate is being directed at you. You need to realize the hate is not from you. You can ask them what the issue is they have with you and why they feel this way? They are defending something they think they are going to lose. Bullying is usually based on hatred. Feeling compassion is cases like this is a stretch but it is again based on the fear they are going to lose something. The child in them is lashing out at you. If you can think of it from this perspective it helps to come from a compassionate heart. The personality is composed of a small fraction of the total range of our potentials. Joy, love, peace, compassion, strength, understanding and many more are expansions of our essential nature.
A person who is in a reactionary moment is acting in the past, not grounded in the present moment and sometimes not receptive to the moment. The hate is a construct of their mind when they are feeling lost, powerless, confused and unsafe, because they are basing their identity on something that is not real or on the outside of them. Their entire identity is based on habitual memories and one large imagination. Real integrity is based on the Divine, which is fully grounded in understanding, creativity, love, guidance, patience, joy, power, calm and serenity. It may be hard for someone in “hating mode” to see all of this especially if they are attached to a certain outcome.
The unfinished business of childhood abandonments and other aspects of personality hopefully evolve as we grow. Experiences like this are designed for such teachings. It is hard to get close to someone who is lashing out viciously at you and discuss what is really the underlying problem that would probably suit everyone better. The snowballing makes this difficult because they are not very receptive. The imaginary boundaries are created when the original connection with our soul our very nature is lost. Communication is always the best way to deal with issues as they come up. The spirit hungers for acceptance and the idea of separateness is a disappointment, and self-development stagnates and there is no growth it is stifling/suffering and painful. What is for the personality that hates is instinctual behavior and primitive emotions. Even the most evolved can revert backwards when some old hurt surfaces based on what is being reflected to them in the moment. Every experience of presence, of our real nature, helps us to see reality more objectively. Your true self will expose to you all misunderstandings and conflicts around your own identity and selfhood. Dealing with why you hate and the issues surrounding self eliminates all of the identification with it and that kind of work is what sets the soul and in turn sets you the person free. You are becoming conscious and moving from a state of being unconscious. The shift is one of being moved into your higher self. It is a supremely high thing.
Experiences are open to this kind of expression. Communication brings things to the surface and both parties are able to transcend the experience. This is liberation, wisdom and maturity. Forgiving each other for the old habits of being and moving on. The misconceptions are corrected and we are free to manifest freely again.
A lot of the work has to do with recognizing and eliminating imaginary boundaries. There is no need to keep the boundaries. Self-remembering is the first path to peace and serenity. Surrendering and letting go of and dissolving the old ego boundaries is the second step. Accepting ourselves and where we were back there and accepting we have evolved and grown from that experience to now. We are precious and we do not need to invent boundaries that protect us. Real understanding allows us to move forward in courage.