Many people feel that they are strange, weird, different, cut from a different cloth, or not good enough. This is a saddening thought, as each and every person was created by God to be a unique individual. Each with his/her own gifts, talents, and features. When a person feels as though God may have made a mistake, or feels forgotten by society, it is a detrimental statement against God. God does not make mistakes, and people should never feel forgotten.
Some people deal with deformities, genetic defects, learning disabilities, speech impediments, or other things that make them seem “different.” Family can be the toughest crowd, it seems, for those who do not meet expectations. This is problematic in itself for a variety of reasons. Family is where a person should find comfort, warmth, kindness, love, and acceptance. This is not always the case, and life becomes that much more difficult for the one feeling out of sorts. Peer pressure exists, along with the social norms. It can become a constant battle. Rather than being lifted up, the individual gets pushed down and suffers even more than before. The person becomes uncomfortable in his/her own skin. Where a negative self-image or low self-esteem may have existed before, it makes matters even worse. According to Maltz, “The self-image is the foundation stone of our whole personality. Because of this, our experiences seem to verify, and thereby strengthen our self-images, setting up a vicious (or pleasant) cycle, (Maltz, M., 1964, The magic power of self-image psychology: The new way to a bright, full life, New York, NY: Pocket Books). The self-image can be fragile for those who deal with the issue of not being able to fit in.
According to Barry Manilow, as he says on the accompanying video, and has stated numerous times during his concert performances, “Misfits aren’t misfits among other misfits.” He also wrote and recorded a song, All the Time, which speaks to this subject matter. When an individual feels out of place, not quite fitting in, or not good enough, just knowing that someone else feels the same way helps the situation dramatically. The person no longer feels all alone, or that he/she is the only one facing whatever it is that makes him/her unique. Each person has strengths and weaknesses, talents, and personality traits that are not meant to be exactly like someone else. But, finding someone who has common difficulties creates an alliance; a bond. This provides strength and reinforcement, rather than weakening a person even more. It can provide a more positive outlook on life. Just a simple thing, such as a common bond, can bring a change in perspective.
For those who are unable to find this common bond, counseling may be an effective tool. Or, talking with a minister may prove helpful. The goal is to find someone who will help build the self-image and take the discomfort and loneliness away. It is difficult to accomplish on one’s own. Assistance is generally necessary. Building a stronger relationship with God is also an important part of the process. Knowing that God created each person with unique abilities, talents, and a purpose causes for meaning to life.
Ephesians 4: 7 says, “But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift.” Further, Ephesians 4: 14-16 says, “We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love,” (The new revised standard version bible, 1989, New York, NY: American Bible Society).
Each person needs to find a way to love him/herself. Feeling God’s presence and love assists in this process.