While true-blue mainstream media producers, newsreaders and scribblers are busy beating on Trump, Independent-turned-Democrat Bernie Sanders isn’t cyberslacking in his campaign plane. Maybe his polling boost is coming from the Bird of Paradise that tried to fly up his nose from the podium in Portland the other day. Perhaps it’s just the lovable nontroversy generated by 9,000 replays of the moment, or the sheer aww… factor of Tweety’s serendipitous flitter; whatever’s going on with the Bern has his supporters pumped, cocked, locked and loaded in Wisconsin.
Meanwhile, mounting lawsuits against Hillary Clinton – including two in which federal judges have allowed evidence discovery and court “interviews” of her top aides from inside and outside of the State Department, past and present – may have overcome the formerly “dead broke” White House resident’s natural charm. Whether it’s the upcoming FBI interviews or the entire hot mess of litigations that surround her like a gritty, August fog over Los Angeles, she is having much more trouble putting away a droopy 1970s-era Socialist who only recently joined the Democratic Party so he can run for the presidency, than one might expect.
To that point, Bernie Sanders, who looks an awful lot like Archie Bunker’s twin brother on a diet, has edged ahead of Clinton in a Marquette law school poll published Wednesday 49 to 45 percent. After losing Hawaii, Alaska and Washington the other day, Clinton losing Wisconsin’s open primary on Tuesday would be as politically spectacular as Sanders winning it. Sanders – who is rumored to have a deco-era recliner repaired with duct tape stashed in his campaign bus – hung out in Madison Wednesday and stoked some folks attending his townhall meet up.
Conspicuously or perhaps over-confidently, Hillary Clinton slipped out of town for a high-dollar fundraising event in New York City, a not-so-subtle departure, and Sanders’ campaign manager, Jeff Weaver, went typeractive with press releases about her NYC skrill junket.
“Hillary Clinton left the campaign trail for yet another high-dollar fundraising event on Monday,” he wrote, “but she shared some news about the state of the race that we agree with: she said the trail to the Democratic nomination ‘goes through Wisconsin,'” Weaver humblebragged.
The Marquette poll of 405 likely Democratic voters surveyed between March 24 – 28 suggests Wisconsin is not only in play for Sanders, but that he has the momentum, with the only caveat being the poll’s 6.3% margin of error.
That said, with half the US lawyers and judges, a battalion or so FBI investigators and a good portion of State Department staff past and present waiting to be interviewed over Clinton’s supercharged email scandal, Mrs. Clinton needs to make a discrete deal with Atty. Gen. Loretta Lynch, who was appointed a US judge by her husband, Bill Clinton.
So here’s a plan; Clinton gives up her top aide, Huma Abedin, who behaves more like her maid than an aide anyway; that would satisfy everyone but those Cosby sweater-wearing Republicans and the nitpicky FBI. As the plan unfurls, Clinton demotes Chelsea and offers Lynch the CEO gig at Clinton Family Foundation “earning” five times her current pay for Lynch to take a fall on any potential indictment. The only foreseeable problem is that Clinton might use her Blackberry to email the proposal to Lynch and there aren’t enough available FBI agents to handle that scandal.