As parents we get to witness many memorable and happy moments. But at the same time, there are those moments when a parent realizes that this can be one of the most challenging roles on earth. We bring a child into this world, a little being with their own personality and will power. As a parent our role is to nurture, keep them safe, love, and teach them about our world. Parents have one of the most important jobs on the face of this planet and that is to raise the next generation of humans. This being said there are moments when as parents we feel like we are losing our: patience, sanity and ourselves when our children are not meeting our expectations.
As parents, lets be real, we have all been there, no matter what type of parenting style you follow. We are human, therefore human error exists, we all mess up sometimes. As a human, a mother, at-risk youth counselor, and a mindfulness educator I have been around children all my life, with much success, but also with my “failures”. Through my trials and errors I have learned some techniques which have helped me remain calm in the midst of a storm.
- Take a Breath. Give yourself a moment, pause, from whatever it is you are trying to do. Now inhale deeply, hold your breath, for as long as you can, and then exhale. Do this for a minute if you are able to, continue to deeply inhale and exhale. This will have a soothing and immediate effect on your state of mind. You will be able to respond to your child’s needs instead of reacting. Many times we lose our patience, and feel as if we are losing control and this is when we snap. This is where unconscious parenting begins, when we react (most of the time it is unintentional). But once you take that deep breath you will feel centered and able to handle your child with love instead of anger.
- Slow Down. In this hectic world, we tend to live on automatic pilot mode. This means we do things in a rush, we hurry, we become impatient with our children, we force them to pick up their pace. We become unsettled and this is the energy our child picks up. When we are in a frantic state, our child will pick up on that energy and act in the same manner. In order for your child to be calm, you must first be calm. So wake up earlier if you have to, leave the house on time, or just simply slow it down.
- Be Compassionate. Many times we believe that our children are acting up, just because. We might believe their is no actual justifiable reason for them to be acting up. But this is not the case. When a child acts up, its because something is wrong, a need is not being met, whether we understand it or not. When we come from a place of compassion we are better able to understand our child and what their needs are. It may be they are tired from sleeping late the night before. It may be they are simply having a “bad” day just as us grown-ups do, or maybe they are crying for attention. But whatever the reason is, come from a place of love instead of anger. When you approach your child from a place of love, they will feel it and this will help them to calm down sooner than later.
For more on parenting consciously, find me on Facebook at Namaste Parenting.