This is the first entry in a comprehensive ranking of 150 films of 2015. Because all lists must begin somewhere, this series will start at the absolute bottom: the bottom 10 percent of movies released last year. These are the 15 worst films of 2015.
(Simple rules for this list: 1) I have to have seen it and 2) any ranked film had a Video-on-Demand, limited or national theatrical release date in the U.S. between January 1, 2015 and Dec. 31, 2015.)
The one commonality among all of these debacles: they are, across-the-board, not worth suffering the running time. All 15 movies on this list are unwatchable (for various reasons), but none of them should be added to anyone’s “must see” list.
Great films inspire and invoke deep human emotion. These terrible films only invoke frustration, impatience and an intense resentment toward everyone involved in the production of these movies
The worst film of 2015: ‘Jupiter Ascending’
The Wachowskis latest offering is impressively bad.
Very little of this space opera makes any sense — which is the key to “winning” the title of Worst Film of the Year. The narrative is absurd and the plot is virtually nonexistent. Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne’s performance is so over-the-top, the Academy would be well within its right to strip him of his Best Actor award and ban him from competition for life. At times it’s hard to tell which is worse: the dialogue or the CGI. And – the cherry on this crap sundae – this film is centered on a character whose only meaningful character action is to … go back to cleaning toilets.
** Fun fact: Last three “winners” of the “Worst Film of the Year” Award were “Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas,” “Generation Um…” and “Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie”
#149: ‘The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence’
From beginning to end, this film is detestable — which is very obviously the goal of writer-director Tom Six. Its only redeeming value: at least this film ends eventually.
But this film isn’t the 2nd worst film of 2015 because of its content. “Final Sequence” is just so transparent in its sloppy, desperate bid to gross out the audience. It’s a wasted effort that is more sad than it is reprehensible (and it’s pretty deplorable.)
(watch the trailer)
#148: ‘The Ridiculous 6’
The idea that Adam Sandler and his merry band of comedy hacks actually think this dumpster fire of adolescent potty humor is entertaining – on any level – is truly offensive. This is lazy, insulting and stupid humor at its very worst.
#147: ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’
“Fat man on segway fall on face, audience expected to laugh.”
That’s a pretty accurate summary of the sequel that exactly zero people wanted. Even sadder – it’s somehow worse than the first equally pointless “Paul Blart.”
#146: ‘Fantastic Four’
How not to make tentpole “blockbuster”: drop four constantly dour protagonists into a vague plot to take on a one-dimensional antagonist. Oh, and make it a boring, slog of an experience that will surely kill a beloved comic book franchise.
20th Century Fox, there’s only one way to right this wrong: sell the Fantastic Four rights back to Marvel.
#145: ‘Rock the Kasbah’
Bill Murray is the only likable part of this disaster. This unfocused mess meanders aimlessly, randomly picking up unearned plot points — and then abandoning them just as quickly. It is only vaguely interesting in the scenes that are completely pointless – and when the story actually takes shape, “Kasbah” gets formulaic and preachy pretty quickly.
Like a distorted copy of a copy, “Chappie” is a degraded version of “Elysium,” which itself was a poor repackaging of the brilliant “District 9.”
Sorta interesting premise totally gives way to lame shoot-em up action — with some half-assed sci-fi mumbo jumbo thrown in for good measure.
#142: ‘Hot Pursuit’
Forgettable and generally unfunny are not terms any alleged “comedy” should aspire to — especially when stacking the deck with a pair of award winning actresses.
David Gordon Green’s latest snoozer is a painful exercise in watching Al Pacino do a bad imitation of Pacino. Were it not for the always incredible Holly Hunter, “Manglehorn” would be a completely unwatchable snoozefest of Pacino sleepwalking his way through a movie that has practically no plot or energy.
When the film doesn’t care about resolving the central plot that kicked off this movie – then why should the audience? Even a disappointing or false conclusion to this story would have been more palatable than the frustrating non-ending that “Strangerland” abruptly crashes into.
#139: ‘By the Sea’
At a certain point in this Angelina Jolie-directed slog, you realize you’re just watching a pair of terminally joyless people watch another pair of people. Based on her body of work, it’s fair to say Jolie is not a compelling filmmaker.
Remember when Johnny Depp used to be an interesting actor? This toothless mystery is just Depp playing dress-up in a funny mustache and a silly voice while random hijinx ensue around him.
There is nothing sweet or funny about this supposed romantic comedy. The only thing “Aloha” does right – it affirms every argument that Cameron Crowe is one of the most overrated directors of all-time.
Yep, that’s right – Adam Sandler has outdone himself this year: all three major theatrical releases from Happy Madison in 2015 appear on this Worst of 2015 list.
“Pixels” is a middle finger to anyone who loves comedy or old school video games. Adam Sandler should be shunned by Hollywood and Happy Madison must be shuttered and razed into a mountain of rubble.